There's a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.
-Emily "Fire Buns" Dickenson-------------------------------
It’s the middle of winter…47 days or something til Bahrain….too cold for any Nitro action. All is bleak.
I’ve been too despondent about the current lack of viable Speed options to post much in the last few weeks. But life must go on. I therefore present you with the following five (5)
morseaux to suck on while we in the international BHP community await more exciting days.
1. The 2006
McLaren MP4-21 is out, and it’s looking pretty savage:
2. DC is banging a new gal. I guess he dumped Simone Abdelnour. Anyway, the new babe is the F1 reporter on France’s TF1 channel, Karen Minier.
This only goes to reconfirm what my consultant, Juan, assured me years ago: that DC is by far the biggest poon-hound in the entire paddock, bar none.
3. Two news stories for the price of one! Mika sez Schumacher should quit; Schumacher sez Rossi has a job driving F1 for Ferrari if he wants one. (see earlier post)
4. Mika also sez Kimi is the best driver out there. As an interesting aside, Kimi was voted F1 Magazine’s Driver of the Year even tho Alonso won the driver’s cup. Obviously the crowd is giving KR his due ‘n’ proppaz for being a drunken barbarian. As he put it upon being confronted by the press over his behavior, "It doesn't make me any slower."
5. Speaking of which, today is the one year anniversary (give or take) of one of the greatest Kimi stories ever, as reported on http://www.people.co.uk/:
Jan 23 2005
EXCLUSIVE
Drunken F1 race ace Kimi kicked out of a lapdance club for fiddling with his gearstick
By Steve Myall And Ray Levine
MOTOR racing star Kimi Raikkonen was chucked out of a lapdancing club after putting on an obscene display that shocked staff and customers. The married Formula One driver and his pals had spent more than £5,000 on booze and table dances when he suddenly…
WHIPPED OUT his manhood in front of two lapdancers.
PLAYED with himself in front of the busty blonde and brunette.
WAVED AWAY the horrified manager who tried to stop the sordid scene.
LURCHED drunkenly out of the club as he and his pals were hustled away.
The manager of trendy London Mayfair club For Your Eyes Only told The People: “I was gobsmacked.
“I thought I’d seen most things in the lap dancing game but when I saw one of the world’s top racing drivers sprawled there with his trousers undone I couldn’t believe it.”
Finnish-born Raikkonen, 25, who drives for McLaren Mercedes and is the major rival of F1 legend Michael Schumacher, arrived at the club on Wednesday night with two pals. They got through bottle after bottle of Cristal champagne at £600 a time and dozens of dance vouchers at £20 each. The party transferred to a VIP area and Raikkonen – who married beautiful Finnish model Jenni Dahlman last year – was enjoying dances from a blonde and a brunette when he decided to give them a show of his own.
The sozzled Finn unzipped his designer jeans, pulled out his manhood and began fondling himself.
The manager, called UJ, said: “I was working downstairs and got a call there was a problem.
“I raced up and at first I thought there was nothing wrong.
“Then I looked again and Kimi’s hand was there on his crotch with his trousers undone and his body exposed.
“I shouted ‘What the hell are you doing, get out now’ but he waved me away.
“Fortunately it was nearly the end of the night and the house lights came on.
“I sent away the two girls, Kimberly and Brody, and managed to get his group downstairs. It was too much.
“He was drunk as a skunk and didn’t care who saw what was going on.”
An astonished eyewitness said: “Raikkonen was very arrogant and loud when he arrived – flashing his credit card for everyone to see but he didn’t even use it and let mates pay the bill.
“The girls were halfway through a dance and were about to remove their G-strings when the management spotted the driver with his trousers undone.
“Every now and then you do get guys going over the top with the girls but you don’t expect anyone to expose themselves – especially when they are a world famous millionaire racing car driver.”
Another member of staff told The People: “The girls are used to men coming on to them but Raikkonen overstepped the mark. “The poor girls were so embarrassed they didn’t know where to look. “I feel sorry for his wife if that is the kind of thing she has to deal with.”
Raikkonen, nicknamed the Iceman for the cool style in the cockpit which has won him two Grand Prix, is no stranger to controversy. He was pictured last year collapsed on a pavement in Gran Canaria, Spain, after a bust-up with wife Jenni, 25, a former Miss Scandinavia.
The randy driver, who owns homes in Chigwell, Essex, and Finland had been smooching with other women.
After another drunken escapade in Finland, Raikkonen – reported to be on an £80 million contract – said: “You can’t stay at home all the time. You have to live your life”
But club manager UJ said: “It doesn’t matter how famous he is, it doesn’t excuse his shocking behaviour.”
When The People spoke to Raikkonen’s agent Steve Robertson yesterday he dismissed the claims as rubbish but admitted he had not spoken to the star. Then the driver’s best friend Christian Vine, who was in the club with him on Wednesday night, phoned to protest Raikkonen’s innocence.
He said: “I’m sitting with Kimi now but I can’t put him on the line because you will quote him.
“But it’s absolute rubbish that he exposed himself. It’s not appropriate for an F1 driver to speak to a newspaper about something like this especially on a Saturday afternoon when he is off duty.”
What they got through
FUN-LOVING Kimi Raikkonen and his friends racked up an incredible £5,000 bill for champagne and lap-dances on the boozy night out – but the bill could have been nearly double.
A source revealed the group worked their way through FOUR magnums of Cristal champagne costing £600 a bottle, SIX bottles of £270 rose wine, and £1,000-worth of table dances. They also ordered a monster jeroboam bottle of Cristal in a presentation box for £4,500. But it was left undrunk on their table and was returned to the bar and knocked off their bill.
BONUS PIC -- A trashed garage: this is supposedly a pic of Ralf (with the unbuttoned shirt by the knocked-over fridge) and Kimi (wearing the West shirt) after getting into a drunken brawl. I have no idea if that's the real story...I found this on a message board.
Kimi will take it for a spin this Thurs and Friday at Catalunya. BTW, Check out the barge boards (above).
