Haus of Hak Celebrates 500th Visitor

Let me drop some mother-effing science on your cracker ass:



That's right, Haus of Hak officially received its 500th visitor today.

Who are you, the reading public? Well, you're obviously a cosmopolitan crowd, hailing from all corners of the world:



On the other hand--and I just can't sugar-coat this--you're an international bunch of abject perverts, plain and simple.

Don't believe me? Here's a selection of some of the top referring searches that got you here--in the last 24 hours alone:

• grandpas cum
• finnish bukkake
• corn hole
• grandpas gay (en espanol)

...well, you get the idea.

For the sweet love of Jimminy Mother-Humping Jehosephat, people! Honestly....

Other, more understandably popular searches include:

• kimi's wife
• kimi wife
• kimi's wife (en espanol)

and one I sincerely hope is kosher in intent:

• aina hakkinen

Haus of Hak is also the go-to destination when it comes to Kimi's habit of publicly blacking out:

• "drunk raikkonen" (in Turkish)
• drunk raikkonen --hey, top Google result! (Please don't sue me.)

There are other referrals with more violent themes:

• osama zarqawi
• WW1 disfigurement

And finally, my proudest internet association of all:

• Super Nitro carbon fiber

That's right, somebody found a link to the Haus on page 14 of his/her (ok, it was definitely a dude) Google results after searching for "Super Nitro carbon fiber." That makes me damn proud.

As for "Grandpa's Cum".... yeah ... uh, I'm somewhat less proud of that one. Not to say displeased, though. Interestingly, those searches are emanating out of Mexico and Arizona. Puebla and Tuscon, to be more precise.

So... I bet you didn't know that when you search for "Grandpa's Cum" people can see where you're doing it from.

Well, fruitcake, you guessed wrong.

Anyway, when you're done dying of mortification and frantically trying to erase your geriatric jizm-encrusted hard drive, why don't ya cum on back to the Haus....

Everybody's welcome here, butt-nut. You're home now.